[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
[CRICKETS CHIRPING]
[FATHER SIGHS]
[EXCLAIMING IN ANNOYANCE]
[UTENSILS CLATTERING]
Honey, it's family hour, there must be something on.
DAUGHTER: Oh, wow, Candy Critters!
[FATHER EXCLAIMS]
Oh, great. It's Monsters, our favorite show!
[MONSTROUS LAUGH]
Shh, it's starting.
[MONSTROUS LAUGH]
[FATHER CHUCKLES]
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
What if he asks about the Tula?
What?
[SCOFFS] Professor Hines?
Anthropology, finals, passing, remember?
Yeah.
Um, the Tula.
That's the tribe that eat slugs, right?
They all eat slugs, Allison.
"The Tula believe that each persons soul is in the form of a particular animal."
Where would I be without you.
"At puberty the young person smokes mushrooms,
"and dreams about the animal he's related to."
Right. So, if he dreams of a jaguar, then that means his soul is a jaguar.
Correct.
It's beautiful, isn't it?
To think that your soul is really a wild creature.
Something strong and fierce.
No. Actually some of them are turtles, rabbits, things like that.
Matt, you must have the soul of an ant.
You work hard enough.
Thanks.
I wonder what my soul looks like.
What do you think?
I think we're up to chapter three.
Come on, Matt. Don't be like that.
What do you see me as?
A bird.
A bird of paradise.
[CHUCKLES] Look at that.
Ten o'clock and we, we still have five chapters to cover.
[CHUCKLES]
I feel like that sometimes.
I really do.
Like a wild bird trapped in a cage.
You know, I didn't want to tell you this, Allison. Uh, not tonight.
Uh, about how I feel about you.
I really like... Maybe he's a tiger.
Or a falcon.
What?
Isn't Tony gorgeous?
Look at him.
Sometimes when I'm studying and I'm really bored,
I think about how I'm going to spend the whole summer packing thighs
for Burdette's chicken parts factory, and then more school,
I just pray to this poster.
I imagine that I hear a motorcycle outside my window,
and I look out,
it's Tony Sterling smiling that kind of crooked smile
and looking at me with those eyes,
he takes me away to a life of adventure with him.
MATT: Allison, the guy is dead.
Such a tragedy.
No, no. Even when he was alive he was just an actor.
A pretty lousy actor.
The Rebel Angel was just a character he played on a TV show.
You don't know what he was like in real life.
You're wrong.
He was just like he was on the show. I know.
I met Tony Sterling.
Rebel Angel.
You never told me that.
I've never told anyone.
It was last summer.
I was working out at Ronnie's on Route 12.
One day he drove up on his motorcycle.
He ordered fried clams and a large onion rings.
He said something to me I'll never forget.
What?
Well, what did he say?
I can't tell you, it's too personal.
But before he drove off,
he gave me this.
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]
[CHUCKLES] Wait a minute...
You mean to tell me the Rebel Angel gave you this?
Well, then what did he do? Pledge his undying love to you?
[LAUGHING] I can't believe you're into this garbage.
You're, you're way too smart for this, Allison.
Why?
Because I'm tired of being so good and responsible all the time?
Well...
No.
Everything is so boring and predictable.
If I don't find some romance and excitement in life,
I feel like I'm going to wither up and die.
I'm sick of spending all my time with dreary pencil pushers
and study hall boobs.
Ah, I know what you mean, Allison.
Do you, Matt? Oh, yeah.
Sure I, I understand.
You've been spending way too much time with dull boobs.
You want someone with real depth, someone heroic.
Here, you wan to get close with the Rebel Angel?
No!
I'm, I'm sorry.
What are you doing?
I gotta go.
[DOOR CLOSES]
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]
Oh, Tony.
I wish you could come and take me away.
[MYSTICAL MUSIC PLAYING]
[MOTORCYCLE REVVING]
[MOTORCYCLE ENGINE STOPS]
MAN: Allison.
Wake up.
Tony?
I thought you were dead.
I am.
But you can help.
How?
I'm in danger, Allison.
I need you.
I want you, Allison.
You want me?
And I know you want me.
You called me.
I was dead, but I came back, like I promised.
Make love to me, Allison.
It's the only way we can be together...
for now.
Forever.
But...
Please...
Make love to me, Allison.
Allison, there's something wrong with this picture.
Oh, Matt, I'm so happy.
We're going to be together always.
MATT: I wouldn't count on a long term relationship.
Dead is "Dead".
What do you know about being dead?
I know that it is permanent.
Not this time, Einstein.
Maybe it's a miracle.
Allison...
Excuse me.
Dead people don't just waltz back and pick up their lives where they left off.
Well, maybe Tony is special.
He's not like other people.
Why? Because he's better looking?
Can't you just be happy for me, Matt?
Tony is everything I ever wanted.
[SIGHS]
Is this all they had at the store?
I'm sorry, but there's a major run on strain turkey dinner.
But I did get you lamb puree.
Baby food?
TONY: It's predigested.
Eat food that's already broken down,
the body works less and you don't age.
About the marshmallows, Tony.
These are no good.
These are the big kind.
I told you to get the little ones, didn't I?
ALLISON: What's the difference?
The difference is, is that they're too mature.
They're too tough.
You know, marshmallows are got to be picked when they're young and tender
otherwise, you know, what's the use?
Tony's promised me adventure.
We're going to take off and be wild and free.
[YAWNS]
Why are you so tired? What's wrong with you?
Matt, I was up a lot last night.
I really should get back to bed.
[SCOFFS]
The girl needs her beauty rest.
Just go. I'll call you tomorrow, okay?
And thanks for the poster.
Thanks a lot, Matt.
I've got a bad feeling about this, Allison. You know what this--
Goodbye now.
[HISSES]
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]
WOMAN: Unacceptable!
Now you listen to me, and you get this straight.
I will not take one penny below what we agreed upon.
Do you understand that? [MUFFLED VOICES]
What?
We must have a bad connection.
I could've sworn you said 35.
[MUFFLED VOICES] What?
It's this darn connection. I'm still hearing 35.
I can't hear you.
[SIGHS] No one weasels out of a deal with me.
You try it, and I'll be all over you like a cheap suit.
Hello?
Mother?
Mother, will you put the nurse back on?
[DIAL TONE] Mother! Damn!
I expected a screenplay,
you give me literature.
I feel like I'm in the presence of genius.
Come on. Come on. Sit. Sit.
You're Tony Sterling's agent.
I'm Matt.
Matt.
You're not my three o'clock?
Uh, I saw Tony Sterling. In the flesh.
Yeah, you and 50 million other nut cases.
Get me security.
He was eating this.
Tony never touched Lamb puree.
Well, they were out of strain turkey dinner.
And he thinks the marshmallow is a vegetable.
Amazing.
He did it.
He really did it.
You've been very helpful, Matt.
Now, if you tell me where Tony is staying...
He showed up in Allison's room last night.
Allison?
She's my girl...
She's my girl friend.
She's my girl... friend.
I'm sure she's a nice whatever.
Now, if you tell me where she is,
I'll send a car for Tony.
You see, I, I'm worried about Allison.
I mean, he, he's done something to her. Something...
Are you gonna cooperate?
Or shall I get security to haul your ass out of here?
Then you'll never find him.
All right.
What does he want with Allison?
I have no idea.
Tony never cared much about girls unless they could help his career.
[CHUCKLES] Still women liked him.
It was his eyes, Allison said.
Contacts.
And the way he smiled, that crooked kind of smile.
Collagen.
That lip curl, that was my idea.
I thought with a new nose...
His whole face was phony?
Everything was phony.
He had nothing when he started.
Nothing but raw ambition and good hair.
I created him.
Then he had to go and die on me, the ungrateful jerk.
Well, you don't seem very surprised that he's come back.
Well, he always bragged that he would, some day.
It was like he had a deal with the...
There was this book.
The only book I ever saw Tony read that didn't come with crayons.
Oh, here it is.
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]
"You Can Make it in Hell"?
He used to swear by that damn book.
Of course I never listened.
He was so monumentally stupid. [CHUCKLES]
Do you know how he died?
He took drugs and fell asleep under a sunlamp.
He tanned himself to death.
Now we're talking moronic.
"Human sacrifice in five easy steps."
Satanism. Now there's a Public Relations nightmare.
Don't get me wrong.
I mean, all those rumors about human sacrifice
were blown completely out of proportion.
It was just this one incident,
and the girl, I hear, is recovering nicely.
AGENT: So she has a minor neurological deficit.
Cost us a bundle, but we settled that one out of court.
MATT: I've seen this.
AGENT: Those were Tony's.
Part of a promotional campaign we launched last summer to pre-sell Rebel Angel.
It was brilliant. Really brilliant.
We used to strap Tony on a motorcycle
and send him into certain target areas.
He would walk into a diner or Piggly Wiggly
and just pretend he was passing through,
and he'd take the ring off his finger
and give it to some wide-eyed girl behind the counter.
We even wrote a line for him.
I mean, the man could not improvise.
He used to say to the girl,
"I'll come back when you least expect me.
"I won't forget you, so and so.
"I couldn't if I wanted to."
I'm sure a three months turn around in hell hasn't improved his character.
He was a parasite
like one of those eels that attach themselves to the bodies of sharks
and suck out their life's blood.
I should know.
I was one of those poor sharks.
[DOOR CLOSES]
Tell Tony to call me.
Dead or alive he's signed with me.
[SIGHS]
[ELECTRICITY BUZZING]
[THUNDERCLAP]
DEVIL: Hi.
How you doing?
DEVIL: Don't you owe me something?
I owe it all to you, boss.
DEVIL: Oh, smoozy, smoozy. I thought we had a deal.
We have a deal.
You know me. You know I always deliver.
[DEVIL CHUCKLES] Pizzeria delivers.
But you, I'm not so sure.
You owe me a soul.
Didn't I say I wanted a soul?
Just a minor soul, nobody important.
I know, but...
We had a deal, am I right?
We have deal.
I'm just working out some of the details.
DEVIL: What details? It's a simple stake and soul. Just pour in a plate.
No problem. I'm collecting today,
she'll on your desk first thing tomorrow morning.
She better be.
I got to go, I'm on another mirror.
Allison, wake up.
Please, Allison.
Are you mad?
He's using you, Allison. I figured it out.
But it's okay, Matt, I'm helping him live.
No, no, no, no. He's helping you die. He needs you soul--
TONY: Hey. Hands off.
The babe's mine.
Not if I can't help it.
I'm a major star, how you gonna compete?
I'll, uh, I'll use the truth.
The dead can't come back,
but they can try to score points in hell by bringing new souls in.
Huh? One thing you know about me, Allison,
I do my homework.
I do your homework.
Homework is boring.
Get lost.
I found out that you were a user.
A sleeze. A coward.
You are afraid of your own motorcycle.
They had to give you training wheels.
[STAMMERS] And it's a lie that you did your own stunts.
[LAUGHS] You were too chicken.
And I know for a fact that you failed your drivers test, six times.
Five times.
The last time I paid the guy off.
Is this true?
Are you a poor driver?
They were jealous.
The Department of Motor Vehicles?
Like, like your wife was jealous when she found you in bed with that
rams head and those devil worshippers?
Your wife?
Hey, I never loved her. Honest.
Not like I love you, Allison.
"I'll come back for you someday when you least expect me.
"I'll never forget you, Allison.
"I couldn't even if I wanted to."
That's what he said to me when he gave me...
How did you know?
He said it to everybody.
Not everybody.
Like, just chicks, 18 to 34.
I was just a target group to you?
You're different, Allison, I swear.
And when we get to hell...
Hell? I thought you were taking me to New York.
Same difference.
Don't do that.
Leave me alone. You promised me adventure.
Hell is an adventure.
You'll see. I'm somebody there.
[GROANING]
So what, if I'm dead?
I can still have a career.
TONY: You think this world is the only market?
I'm on the fast track down there.
I'm in with the boss.
Send him away, Allison.
You brought him here, you have to send him away.
Go away. I don't want you, you creep.
You said you love me,
and now I'm a creep?
That's pretty pathetic, Allison.
[BOTH GRUNTING]
Stop it! Leave him alone!
Get rid of him, Allison.
I don't know how.
[MATT SCREAMING] [GROWLING]
Go to hell.
[CLICKING]
[SIGHS]
[SCREECHING]
Matt, are you okay? Fine.
I'm fine. Oh, your neck.
Let me get you a towel. No, no. It's no big deal.
You're amazing.
[CHUCKLES]
You saved my life.
Yeah. [CHUCKLES]
I guess, I did.
Thanks.
I've been such a fool.
Oh, it's not your fault.
You didn't know he had a soul of a giant eel.
Actually, a lamprey.
As indicated by the...
suctorial mouth and the horny teeth...
for boring.
Matt. Yeah.
Be quiet.
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]